Small problem: they lost the recipe.
It happened in the late 60s or early 70s, apparently when the hotel was under the management of Cheech and Chong, LLC. A transcript of the staff meeting minutes from the week after the cocktail vanished reads as such:
Cheech: "Hey man, where'd our signature cocktail go man?"
Chong: "I don't know man, I think we like, lost it or something man..."
Hey, it was the 60s. At least Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda got to knock a few Monteleone Cocktails back before it went the way of the dodo (you have to catch the limited edition, director's cut of Easy Rider to catch that scene, by the way...the look on Tommy Chong's face as he serves them is priceless. Some of his best work).
(Editor's note: Stop making smart ass comments and just tell them about the competition before you ruin this whole opportunity for us...)
Fast forward to 2009, and the good folks at the Monteleone want their official cocktail back! It's the 60th Anniversary of the Carousel Bar at the Monteleone this year, so they've opened up the gates and are asking you and me and every blogger we know to deluge them with original cocktail recipes, in the hopes that yours will be the winner and consequently the new Monteleone Cocktail for all time...or at least 20 or so years before they lose it again.
(Editor's note: stop it. now.)
In the interest of accurate reporting and reduced effort on my part, here is a pasted excerpt from the Monteleone on the nature of this spirited competition:
"The Hotel Monteleone is hosting an online contest to accept drink recipe nominations for a new official Monteleone Cocktail. The recipes will be judged by VIPs who will be at the Carousel anniversary celebration on May 21. There are no requirements on types of liquor or style of drink, but all drink entries must be received by May 18, so that the ingredients may be acquired and drinks prepared at the May 21 event. Participating bloggers should post their entries online, and all participants should e-mail their drink recipes, along with their name, address and phone number, to athornton(at)hotelmonteleone(dot)com. The winning entry will become the new official Monteleone Cocktail, and the winner will receive four free nights at the Hotel Monteleone during Tales of the Cocktail 2009."
I hesitate of course to share this information, because the more people that know about it, the more likely it is that someone with actual talent will find out about it, and then you can kiss my chances of winning goodbye. So far it's just the usual cast of hacks and losers horning in on my racket. But then again, nobody but degenerates and reprobates reads this blog anyway.
(Editor's note: We love our readers! You...complete...us!)
So summon the powers of the Dark Side, or of Greyskull, or whatever works for you. Create the drink that should be the namesake libation of the legendary Monteleone, then bow before me as mine eternal cocktail smites and vanquishes thee, thus promulgating my divine glory!
And best of luck to you all...