Monday, May 18, 2009

Ted Munat interviews T.Mixeur: The Subject Was Monteleone Cocktails

Greetings loyal readers. Ted Munat here. Feeling the wave of excitement over the Monteleone cocktail contest, I begged for, and was granted, the opportunity to speak with the legendary T.Mixeur about the process he employed in creating his entry for the contest.

I met with T.Mixeur in the back corner of Seattle's legendary Beth's Cafe. He arrived somewhat late, as his method of transport to the cafe was meditative walking (I actually consumed my entire meal between the time he entered the front door and when he sat down). Once seated, he flashed me that inimitable smile and ordered the house specialty, Lard Omelet.

Ted Munat: So tell me, T.Mixeur, what were the parameters you set in approaching the awesome task of creating a drink that, if worthy, could become the signature cocktail of the legendary Hotel Monteleone in New Orleans?

T.Mixeur: Good question Tim. I immediately felt that this drink should be yellowish-brown, yet oblong...dwell in the realm of dragons, yet be palatable to both democrats and republicans, yet signify the death of their illegitimate reign over our glorious land. Most importantly, I felt this drink should bear such weight and power that were I to clip it to a chain, and the other end of the chain to my armpit, and then sway from side to side, the drink would become a wrecking ball, capable of toppling the mightiest and most implanted buildings...of the mind, and of the soul.

TM: I see....and how does one accomplish all this?

T.Mixeur: One word: Grapefruit juice.

TM: Of course!

T.Mixeur: I'm happy to be part of this contest, and fully expect to be victorious, yet I do hope one little condition I intend to impose is met without controversy.

TM: What would that condition be?

T.Mixeur: Well, I'm happy for the drink to be known as the Monteleone Cocktail from an anecdotal standpoint, but in an official capacity, and on the actual cocktail menu at the Carousel Bar, I would like it to be known by the name I have chosen for it.

TM: And that name would be?

T.Mixeur: In honor of my fellow Pacific Northwesterner, and fellow recidivist traveler back to the source, Tom Robbins, I would like it to be listed on the menu as "The Non-Vibrating Astrological Dodo Dome Spectacular Cocktail."

TM: Brilliant! The name rolls off the tongue as easily as I'm sure the cocktail itself rolls on!

T.Mixeur: My working title for the drink was Marianne Renoir, after Anna Karina's character in Godard's "Pierrot Le Fou." Like Marianne, the drink is beautiful, seductive, and stabs people in the neck with scissors.

TM: So you're a fan of Godard?

T.Mixeur: If cinema were a sports car, Godard would have been the man in the woolen cap who squats over the front corner of the hood and gleefully rubs the insides of his butt cheeks back and forth across the coupe's supple lines, cackling all the while, as passersby assume him a fool.

TM: Yes, I've heard that sentiment expressed a number of times you are a fan?

T.Mixeur: Oh lord no. I can't watch his stuff without at least 4 cocktails and a sock filled with horse know, to chew on.

TM: Exactly.

T.Mixeur: And yet imprecise!

TM: Hmmmm...well, it's interesting to me to observe that you have managed to create a cocktail that incorporates many familiar ingredients to New Orleans cocktail culture - such as rye whiskey, Peychaud's bitters, and Benedictine - but at the same time incorporates ingredients of the 21st century cocktail renaissance - such as MP Roux - and also manages to implicitly promote the modern consciousness of environmental responsibility by specifying a locally available ingredient: Texas grapefruit...and this all wrapped up into a tasty, refreshing package that suits the hot humid climate of New Orleans.

T.Mixeur: Uhhh...yah. I guess if you're obsessed with the goal of reducing my art and the beauty of existence to something depressingly bourgeois and two dimensional, that's kind of how you might want to describe it. Me, myself, I prefer to think of it simply as non-vibrating, yet also a dodo dome spectacular. This is a fact that I am very proud of.

TM: As well you should be. Any plans for what to do with the room at the Monteleone you stand to win if and when you win the contest?

At this point in the interview, an aardvark entered the cafe and began cooking bacon. A small child walked up to me and smiled, then handed me 18 paper clips strung together, connected at one end to a Tibetan copper bracelet. A chill wind blew into the room, creating a sound like the wailing of the Banshees. I spun around to look at the origin of the howls, and when I turned back to our table, T.Mixeur was gone. All that was left behind was half a lard omelet, a drink recipe, and this photo of the mysterious Mixeur himself:

Oh, and here's the recipe:

The Non-Vibrating Astrological Dodo Dome Spectacular Marianne Renoir Monteleone Cocktail!

1 ounce Sazerac 6 Year Rye Whiskey
1 ounce fresh squeezed Texas (pink) grapefruit
½ ounce Benedictine
1 dash Peychaud's bitters
1 dash Angostura bitters
1 barspoon Elisir M.P. Roux
Fever Tree Bitter Lemon soda

shake all ingredients except Bitter Lemon over ice
double strain over fresh ice into a Collins glass
top with Bitter Lemon - it should take about 2 ounces to fill the glass.
garnish with lemon peel

long live T.Mixeur...


Stevi Deter said...

You used Elisir M.P. Roux in a cocktail? I totally did not see that coming.

T. Mixeur said...

Well, T.Mixeur worketh in mysterious wayeth.

Anonymous said...

Danny Devito?

T. Mixeur said...

I chose not to run the photo of Danny DeVito drinking the Non Vibrating Astrological Dodo Dome Spectacular Marianne Renoir Monteleone Cocktail because he insisted on holding up a bottle of his Limoncello in every shot. We at Le Mixeur have the utmost in integrity and do not allow product placement unless it is of something that we feel very strongly about or has been given to us for free. We also don't allow nudity on the site, which was another reason we didn't run the DeVito shots.