Saturday, March 10, 2012

Le Mixeur Sharky Menu - Anu Apte: Teddy

Teddy looked at him directly for the first time. "Are you a poet?" he asked.

"A poet?" Nicholson said. "Lord, no. Alas, no. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions."

Nicholson, smiling, reached into his jacket pocket and took out cigarettes and matches. "I rather thought that was their stock in trade," he said. "Aren't emotions what poets are primarily concerned with?”

... “Nothing in the voice of the cicada intimates how soon it will die,' " Teddy said suddenly. "'Along this road goes no one, this autumn eve."'

"What was that?" Nicholson asked, smiling. "Say that again."

"Those are two Japanese poems. They're not full of a lot of emotional stuff."


There's little point in profiling Anu Apte here. I wrote about her in Left Coast Libations, and clearly everyone in the entire world has bought and read that book by now. So you all know. Just to be safe, I will make sure you know that Anu owns Rob Roy, a superior cocktail lounge and swell place located at 2nd & Battery in the Belltown neighborhood of Seattle. She more recently has engaged heavily in the creation of her own drinking academy, Swig Well, which provides the drinking public with education and fun on how to do it right, or how to swig well.

Anu is the only contributor to this event who was in Left Coast Libations. I intentionally sought out great bartenders in Seattle who were not in the book, because it's a full time job keeping up with how many great ones there are (and there's still so many yet we've yet to get to, so stay tuned for future fundraising events and other projects). But Anu had to be involved because she was so integral to this event from the beginning, and it was in fact her who convinced me to do this event in the first place. I had hung up my Le Mixeur jock strip, literally. Anu literally took it down off the peg on the wall and (figuratively) strapped it back on me.

So thanks and praise be to Anu, and without further ado, let's get to the drink.


Bulleit bourbon
Logic Apple Cider*
Dolin blanc vermouth
orange bitters
served on the rocks with a lemon "life preserver" wheel garnish**

*This cider contains all logic of the world that Anu will eat and then vomit back up and bottle. It will have some Indian spices, be made with Granny Smith Apples and lots of love from Anu.

**These are lemon wheels placed over the top of the glass. The straws will be placed in the middle of the wheel into the drink. As if the garnish is a life preserver for the straws.

(editor's note: no proportions are available at this time because Anu is making a vat of her Indian spice Granny Smith bourbon cider life preserver punch in her secret alchemical laboratories for us to simply pour into your cups, or mouths.)


No, I don't want to. But for the sake of explaining Anu's drink, here's a segment from the story. This will get you through tomorrow night. Then you'll just need to read the story in its entirety.

"You're just being logical," Teddy said to him impassively.

"I'm just being what?" Nicholson asked, with a little excess of politeness.

"Logical. You're just giving me a regular, intelligent answer," Teddy said. "I was trying to help you. You asked me how I get out of the finite dimensions when I feel like it. I certainly don't use logic when I do it. Logic's the first thing you have to get rid of."

Nicholson removed a flake of tobacco from his tongue with his fingers.

"You know Adam?" Teddy asked him.

"Do I know who?"

"Adam. In the Bible."

Nicholson smiled. "Not personally," he said dryly.

Teddy hesitated. "Don't be angry with me," he said. "You asked me a question, and I'm--"

"I'm not angry with you, for heaven's sake."

"Okay," Teddy said. He was sitting back in his chair, but his head was turned toward Nicholson. "You know that apple Adam ate in the Garden of Eden, referred to in the Bible?" he asked. "You know what was in that apple? Logic. Logic and intellectual stuff. That was all that was in it. So--this is my point--what you have to do is vomit it up if you want to see things as they really are. I mean if you vomit it up, then you won't have any more trouble with blocks of wood and stuff. You won't see everything stopping off all the time. And you'll know what your arm really is, if you're interested. Do you know what I mean? Do you follow me?"

"I follow you," Nicholson said, rather shortly.

"The trouble is," Teddy said, "most people don't want to see things the way they are. They don't even want to stop getting born and dying all the time. They just want new bodies all the time, instead of stopping and staying with God, where it's really nice." He reflected. "I never saw such a bunch of apple-eaters," he said. He shook his head.

Thanks for reading everybody. Hope you can join us tonight. We're all going to vomit... figuratively speaking.

Le gra (with love),

No comments: