Sunday, May 4, 2008

Finishing School for Mixeurs

First, a note of something non-spirits related but near and dear to T.Mixeur's heart. I have created a blog detailing the experience of raising an amazing and absolutely unique child, who happens to be my one and only son, and who also happens to have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and inasmuch requires me to tilt at windmills operated by the public school system, the government, and the corporate insurance company power blockade. If you have children or have ever thought that you kind of like children, you may wish to peruse the goings on at STILL LIFE WITH SHARK

And now, on with the drinking...

Le Mixeur has been besieged, yes besieged, with notes from devoted Mixers concerned with whether or not we intend to follow through with our promise, yes promise, to make Le Mixeur Quatre the greatest Mixeur the world has ever known.

Aside from the steps outlined in excruciating detail previously in this space, T.Mixeur has been studying at the foot of a true guru of congeniality, a bodhisattva of hospitality, a genius of cordiality, the one they call simply, Hostmaster John.

Hostmaster John

Principally renowned for his contribution to the field of Hosting, John lends his name to the concepts of Johnastic Hosting and the Johnastic Method. The latter remains a commonly used tool in a wide range of discussions, and is a type of pedagogy in which a series of guests are asked not only to have the most wonderful time of their lives, but to encourage fundamental insight into how others can also experience such levels of Johnastia. John also made important and lasting contributions to the fields of Hostology and Hostronomy, and the influence of his ideas and approach remains strong in providing a foundation for the many Mixeurs which followed.

Hostmaster John Hosted T.Mixeur into his realm of welcomeness recently, to pass along the ancient secrets of how to make guests, or Mixers, feel like blessed little children of the sun. The highlights of this evening follow...

As is the standard procedure with Hostmaster John, the guest is immediately fitted with a fashionable hair piece that accentuates the regality of the skull region, extending the crown of the head, and imbuing the guest with not only a strong sense of importance, but also with the confidence inherent in knowing, for a fact, that I look damn fine.

This is one of many aspects of the Johnastic method that places the guest in an open, receptive state of mind, ready to accept the totality of Hostmaster John's generosity.

At this stage of the Johnastic Method, Hostmaster John himself enters the space being occupied by his guest, and with unprecedented style and aplomb, offers the starstruck visitor a tasty confection that Hostmaster John has coyly named, "a cracker."

Note the delight exuded in both the facial expressions and body language of T.Mixeur as he graciously accepts this precious offering. Note further that Hostmaster John, having intuitively grasped T.Mixeur's wheat intolerance, has offered a rice flour cracker...Très impressionnant!

Here, the camera has in fact captured the very essence of what makes Hostmaster John a legend of Hostology. Look carefully and appreciate the genuine joy in his face at having successfully made his guest feel welcome.

If looking with enough care and mindfulness, one can clearly see his aura radiating with completeness. Looking at T.Mixeur, it is clear that Hostmaster John's grace has spread to him as well. We at Le Mixeur feel blessed to have this moment in time preserved through the magic of photographs.

At this point, Hostmaster John made a swift and final exit from the room. However, from this image, one can clearly see that the spirit and charisma of our Host lingered in the heart and mind of T.Mixeur.

It was, in fact, just at this moment that T.Mixeur realized this cracker was itself the Host, and would be the sweetest and most meaningful Eucharist he had ever imbibed.

And what were the specific techniques of Hosting T.Mixeur learned? We cannot say. We can only demonstrate. So please, join us on May 17 for Le Mixeur Quatre, a most holy of communions.

Le fils le père et l'esprit saint,



Anonymous said...

Cannibalism! You've got cannibalism right there on day one of our new religion!

Lance J. Mayhew said...

You know, with the wig on, you look surprisingly like Perez Hilton.