Thursday, May 29, 2008

Foraging For Inspiration in the Old-Growth Forests of Seattle

...the author has recently completed what was sworn to be the last Le Mixeur as presently construed, and there are no immediate notions for a replacement concept,

and Whereas...
...the author is now immersed in a two-week, Ayurvedic cleanse in which nothing is consumed but raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts, along with organ-cleansing herbs and tinctures,

we do Hereby Declare...
that not a hell of a lot of cocktail stuff is going on.


However, T.Mixeur has a few ditties from the past to share, and some ideas for the future as well. Today we will seamlessly bring together events of the recent past with fanciful notions for the future, while at the same time engaging in an activity appealing to any Ayurvedic cleanser...writing about berries.

Memorial Day was a rare child, work, and Mixeur-free day for T.Mixeur, and was gratefully spent in large part at Seattle's Seward Park.

Les Caractères

Seward Park - a large city park, furthest south of a long chain of parks along the west shores of Lake Washington. It sits on a peninsula jutting out into the lake, and is the proud holder of an old-growth forest.

Lela - a student of natural medicine and longtime student of the forest. T.Mixeur is counting on Lela to one day aid his survival in post-apocalyptic Washington, guiding the way to sustenance in the forms of mushrooms, miner's lettuce, and an endless variety of berries.

T.Mixeur - a genius obsessed with cocktails and spirits, who looks into the magnificent beauty of the forest and the plants, berries, and flowers therein and thinks only one thought: how can these be incorporated into a drink?

La scène
The balance mixologists seek in a cocktail, or distillers in a spirit or liqueur, is naturally present in the forests of Washington. Sweet, sour, bitter, are represented in widely varying degrees by the berries alone. Salty and umami are present as well, but one would likely have to look closer to the ground than we did this day.

As we walked through the forest, T.Mixeur's mind was swimming with thoughts on how to use these native, natural delicacies in a single cocktail, for homemade macerations, syrups, or liqueurs, and also how to employ them in distillation techniques. One could spend a lifetime exploring the possibilities. For this day, we took about two hours (including the time spent looking for our car when we realized we had no idea where we were).

Les Images Montage


Lela's favorite berry in the forests. It will produce shiny purplish berries that ripen in the fall and stay present until December. They are sweet and easy to eat, with a slight musky taste. They have long been a staple for the Quinault Indians. The plant is part of the Ericaceae family, distinguished by hard, dark green leaves (think of Azaleas, Rhododendrons, or Blueberry).


The first thing to know about Thimbleberry is that its leaves make, by a long shot, the finest toilet paper in the forest. Beyond that, the berries themselves are somewhat sweet but considered bland by many. They are red when ripe and look like a larger, flatter raspberry with more seeds than any self-respecting raspberry would dare be seen with. The Nuu-chah-nulth Indians smoked Thimbleberries with clams. The Kwakwaka'wakw picked them when pink, stored them in cedar-bark bags until ripe, then ate'em down. The shoots are apparently edible as well (and perhaps Umami?).


"Plants of the Pacific Northwest Coast" describes Salal as "creeping to erect; spreads by layering, suckering, and sprouting." This description reminds me somewhat of the Munat Brothers. It continues, "with hairy branched stems." Well, perhaps C.Mixeur. But T.Mixeur? Hairy-stemmed? Oh no no! Je ne pense pas ainsi!

Anyone who has at one time or another had a professionally made bouquet of flowers has likely beheld the thick, dark green leaves (which makes it what, class? Ericaceae? Très bon!) of Salal. It is one of the most common sources of green filler in bouquets. The delicate, hairy little sepals pictured here will eventually become purple and sweet. Salal has for centuries, perhaps millenniums, been the most abundant and edible fruit of the Pacific Northwest.


This grows in abundance at Seward Park, and loves to grow anywhere there are Douglas Firs. The "grapes" (there is actually no relation to grapes, it is an evergreen shrub that produces berries) will eventually turn blueish/purple, but they will never turn sweet. They are quite tart and bitter, or, as Lela describes them: "awful." They are often mixed with Salal berries and/or made into jam with lots of juice and sugar. The Oregon Grape has traditionally been used medicinally for treating liver, gall-bladder, and eye problems. The Saanich tribe considered it the only effective medicine for shellfish poisoning (so if you smoke some Thimbleberries with clams, have some Oregon Grape nearby as well).

There are more. Much much more. But let's save those for a follow-up post, shall we?

Nous espérons que vous avez aimé apprendre de baies dans la forêt!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

SF Cocktail Week and the Debut of the Fallen Mixeur

Today Le Mixeur is graced with a guest contribution from Paula Fallen Star “Ajeticha” Nicole Jenkins, also known in this space as Fallen Mixeur. Fallen Mixeur is a cocktail enthusiast from San Francisco, freedom fighter for the repressed and oppressed peoples of the world, sometimes cocktail muse to T.Mixeur, dear old friend of T.Mixeur, consultant to Munat Bros, and now contributing columnist to Le Mixeur. Fallen Mixeur will accompany the Munat Bros contingency to Tales of the Cocktail this summer, where she says she will add yet another title to her already impressive resume, that of “Festival Wench.” (C. Mixeur, if you are reading, she will need business cards reflecting this daring new venture).

Fallen Mixeur has been kind enough to provide us with an inside view of the recently completed Cocktail Week in San Francisco. Take it away, Fallen Mixeur...

5:30 P.M. – 7:30 P.M.
CUESA Kitchen at the San Francisco Ferry Building

The Farmers' Market tasting event was fabulous and my favorite experience of the week. It was SUCH a beautiful day and 18-20 of the city's best bartenders and mixologists lined up (they did a rotating shift, so 10 or so first hour and last 10 the latter one), and set up their presentation booths. We each were given two drink tickets for full-sized drinks, and you could also walk along and taste little sample cups of as many of the drinks as you wanted. Each booth/bartender had one specialty drink they created just for the event, which were inspired by summer and what the farmers' market has to offer. Amazing strawberries flavored many of these drinks. Blueberries, cucumbers, apples and cherries also added to several of the very refreshing concoctions. Some ingredients that really stood out for me and assisted in the creation of phenomenally unique drinks were roasted jalapeño pepper simple syrup, balsamic simple syrup, and Numi tea-infused bourbon.

The event sold out and for good reason. It was so great to meet all these artists in one place, while they showed us the process of making these amazing drinks, and gave us typed recipe sheets for them. It truly produced the feeling of embracing one's community, sharing this art, and supporting local farmers and bars.

Many drinks stood out but I will type up two of my favorites, if you can I would encourage you to try to recreate them to understand the feeling it created within me.

Blue Bonnet

From Joel Baker of Bourbon and Branch

2 oz. Plymouth Gin
¾ oz. Fresh pressed meyer lemon juice
½ oz. honey
10 blueberries

Muddle blueberries and tarragon with honey. Add gin and lemon juice. Shake and pour over ice.

Spring Fever

From Victoria D'amato Moran of Cent' Anni Cocktail Catering

2oz. Partida Anejo Tequila
*2oz. Roasted Jalapeño Agave Syrup
*1 oz. Rhubarb juice
Squeeze lemon
3 oz. strawberry juice

Shake and strain over cracked ice
Garnish with a nice strawberry and a jalapeño wheel

*Roasted Jalapeño syrup:

Roast 3 jalapeños over an open flame until charred on all sides.
wrap peppers in a paper towel, let sweat for 15 minutes
using same towel, removed blackened skin
Chop peppers into small pieces, discarding the membrane and some, not all, seeds.
heat 1 cup agave nectar and 1 cup water until agave dissipates
add peppers, simmer for 45 minutes on low heat
remove, pour syrup into sterilized glass jar. May store up to 2 weeks.

*Rhubarb juice

Take 4 rhubarb stalks and wash thoroughly. Discard any green. Chop into 1/2 inch pieces.
Add to pot with 2 cups water.
Cook on low until the rhubarb has become a pulp
Strain to extract all the juice

Visit renowned guest bartenders from around the U.S. mixing and serving drinks at participating bars throughout the city.

Alembic – Daniel Nelson (Providence in Los Angeles)
Bourbon & Branch – Josh Durr (Molecular Bartending)
Cantina - Gina Chersavani (EatBar in VA) and Rico Wisner (Poste Brasserie in DC)
Elixir - Tal Nadari (Fabulous Shaker Boys, Holland)
Rye - Marcos Tello (Seven Grand and The Doheny, Los Angeles)

I really enjoyed meeting Josh Durr from Kentucky, who was Bourbon and Branch's guest bartender. He was a quirky, humorous guy who created fun drinks with surprising flavors,, including one with a fig simple syrup, and another which was a red pepper, cilantro, chipotle margarita. He made a few others but those were my favorites. He had a burn on his hand, not just a small one but a seriously bubbled up burn (from making his syrups that morning on a small stove) and yet he still worked some magic and was fun and charming as could be. I had a bit of time where I thought I was going to suffocate and pass out from being in the library at B&B and it being a million degrees. I got through it though and survived which I didn't think I would for bit.

FRIDAY, MAY 16, 2008
3:00 P.M. – 8:00 P.M.

I joined my friends Sanaz and Leila at the Elixir to celebrate its 150th year anniversary AND the Save the Sazerac event, where the proceeds of all Sazerac and Shirazeracs go to Tales of the Cocktail. It was MADNESS. Being a local frequenter of the Elixir (it's in the Mission just blocks up from where I work), I have never seen it so packed full of such a mix and match of people. Nor have I seen it with the absolutely overwhelming energy that flooded the place with excitement. I waited to order our first round of drinks for nearly 25 minutes, and this was not due to a lack of hard work or diligence by the bartenders. They lined cups up and created 20+ Sazeracs at a time. The number of people just overwhelmed the number of bartenders and space available. It also happened to be one of the days of the intense heat wave that hit SF, and with an old bar like the Elixir you can only depend on the open windows. HoT!! So sweating their asses off, the bartenders made exquisite Sazeracs. It was beautiful. It was the first tasting of Sazeracs and Shirazeracs for my friends and they both were sold on them by the time we left.

In summary of the week, I must highlight Bourbon and Branch. Not because that is where I spend quite a bit of my time or that I enjoy the friendliness of the staff, but because I so respect this very distinct, energetic, humble, creative art that these young mixologists are creating. I am not sure if the world knows what they are doing in that dark little spot in the Tenderloin, but it is truly special. I must say that Joel, Kevin and Yanni really bring something new to the scene and it NEVER gets boring because of their constant curiosity and passion for this art. It is really impressive.

Merci, Fallen Mixeur. Venez de nouveau!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Images, par tyrone vert

Sombre et solitaire sur une nuit d'été .
tuent mon aboiement, tuent mon aboiement
de chien de propriétaire. Mord-il ?
tuent mon aboiement, tuent mon aboiement
Entrez à la fenêtre. Cassez son cou.
alors sa maison que je commence à détruire
n'a obtenu aucune raison. Que diable ?
tuent mon aboiement, tuent mon aboiement

-eddie murphy

Merci, Monsieur Murphy, merci pour la poésie d'images

And now for the images themselves, of Le Mixeur Quatre...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Le Mixeur Quatre, Le Mixeur Finale!

"Everybody... this has of the greatest events of our lives really... this particular show will remain with us the longest, because not only is it the last show of the tour, but it's the last show we'll ever do."

-ziggy stardust

Ziggy speaks for us. This Saturday will, in fact, be the end of the Mixeur as we know it.

The amount of work that goes into creating Le Mixeur is simply not sustainable. It will live on in many, yet to be determined forms. But what we know about Le Mixeur ends when the last person exits on what will most likely be, by then, May 18th.

Thank you all. It has been wonderful.



But this blog goes on, and continues today with a preview of the cocktails that will be served at Le Mixeur Finale...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mixology Monday: Hemingway's Punch in the Mouth

Woody Allen, "The Lost Generation"

"I was in Europe many years ago with Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway had just written his first novel, and Gertrude Stein and I read it, and we said that is was a good novel, but not a great one, and that it needed some work, but it could be a fine book. And we laughed over it.

Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

That winter Picasso lived on the Rue d'Barque, and he had just painted a picture of a naked dental hygenist in the middle of the Gobi Desert. Gertrude Stein said it was a good picture, but not a great one, and I said it could be a fine picture. We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

Francis Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald came home after their wild new years eve party. It was April. Scott had just written Great Expectations, and Gertrude Stein and I read it, and we said it was a good book, but there was no need to have written it, 'cause Charles Dickens had already written it. We laughed over it...and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.

That winter we went to Spain to see Manolete fight, and he was... looked to be eighteen, and Gertrude Stein said no, he was nineteen, but that he only looked eighteen, and I said sometimes a boy of eighteen will look nineteen, whereas other times a nineteen year old can easily look eighteen. That's the way it is with a true Spaniard. We laughed over that... and Gertrude Stein punched me in the mouth."

My but there certainly were a lot of Daiquiri-esque creations coming in and out of that little El Floridita in Havana involving Mr. Ernest Hemingway, weren't there? I had entertained the notion that I could, through exhaustive research, create at last a Unified Field Theory of Floridita.

But I failed.

It begins with one agreed upon historical fact: Hemingway drank excessively.

Then there are other, ensuing facts: He drank excessively at El Floridita; he drank Daiquiris; he did not like sugar in drinks; sugar in drinks is for blouse-wearing sissy boys; after 17 or so Daiquiris he'd pummel sugar-swilling, blouse-wearing sissy boys; whereas most places in the world this sort of behavior would get you banned, at El Floridita it got him a reserved seat at the bar which they still hold for him today; he eventually came to like Maraschino Liqueur as a sugar substitute in his Daiquiris; no soft drink company has since followed his lead when creating a diet soda; Hemingway called the process of replacing sugar with Maraschino "puttin' some stank on it!"

Editor's note: this last part is not true and Hemingway never said that.

But the rest are all facts!

So these days we've got the Floridita in four hundred fashions, plus the Hemingway Daiquiri, the Papa Doble, Wild Daiquiri, and the Daiquiri Special.

Common denominators
: rum, lime

Many have grapefruit. Most Floriditas have sugar or some sugary substance in them. There's some maverick out in Seattle, name of Robert Hess, who professes a Floridita made with Sweet Vermouth, grenadine, and Creme de Cacao. And he'll pummel any grapefruit sipping sissy boy claiming to know the real Floridita!

Editor's note: Robert is not like this and the above comment is deplorable.

Here are some notable examples of Floriditas and its cousins:

Based upon the Daiquirí recipe from El Floridita that Hemingway drinks with A. E. Hotchner in his book "Papa Hemingway."

2 1/1 jiggers Bacardi or Havana Club rum
Juice of 2 limes
Juice of 1/2 grapefruit
6 drops of maraschino

Fill a blender one-quarter full of ice, preferably shaved or cracked. Add the rum, lime juice, grapefruit juice and maraschino. Blend on high until the mixture turns cloudy and light-colored. ( See Islands in the Stream, page 281 for a more Hemingway-esque description.)

Serve immediately in large, conical goblets.

This recipe comes to us via PBS and Michael Palin's visit to the El Floridita.

This next one is from Phil Greene, and can be found at On The House.

"Page 30 of the Floridita menu contains the recipe that we’ve come to know as the Hemingway Daiquiri, though it is misspelled as the “E. Henmiway” Special:

2 ounces Bacardi
1 Teaspoonful Grape Fruit Juice
1 Teaspoonful Marraschino
The juice of 1/2 lemon (sic)
Frappe ice
Shake well and serve frappe."

He points out that lemon is meant in the spirit of limon, and can be confirmed easily enough that what is meant by lemon is, of course, lime.

Floridita a la Cocktail Database

1 oz fresh lime juice (3 cl, 1/4 gills)
2 oz light rum (6 cl, 1/2 gills)
1/4 oz grapefruit juice (6 dashes, 1/16 gills)
1/4 oz maraschino liqueur (6 dashes, 1/16 gills)
1/2 tsp sugar (2 dashes)

Shake in iced cocktail shaker & strain
Serve in a cocktail glass (4.5 oz)

Oh, those crazy Cocktail Database boys with their gills...

Robert Hess presents the Floridita...In Technicolor!!!

El Floridita

1 1/2 ounces rum
1/2 ounce lime juice
1/2 ounce sweet vermouth
1/8 ounce grenadine
less than 1/8 oz creme de cacao

shake with ice

strain into a cocktail glass

garnish with a twist of lime

Which brings us at long last to the real reason for this post, which is, as always, shameless self-promotion of Le Mixeur Quatre (May 17, Seattle, 8pm, send email for address).

We will be serving a version from Nick Mautone's "Raising the Bar," which is, quite frankly, the most sissy-boy version of the Floridita known to existence. One sip of this and Hemingway would have erupted, pummeling everyone in the room, calling for Woody Allen's head on a spit, and demanding that Vinca Vigia be returned to him at once.

But it actually is a very nice drink, and perfect for the purposes of Le Mixeur Quatre...


1 oz light rum
¾ oz grapefruit
½ oz lime
¼ oz curacao
¼ oz maraschino
¼ oz grenadine

And ours, after going through the obligatory shake and strain process, gets a mint leaf. And that works just fine for us thank you.

And after all this research has been completed, I was at long last able to draw up a rough draft of a diagram detailing the evolution of the Floridita and related drinks:

editor's note: T.Mixeur did not create this diagram and it has nothing to do with the Floridita.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Huit Belles, Repos Dans Paix

T. Mixeur has always had an inexplicable affinity for horses. I've not spent much time with horses, and have ridden one only once when so young that a professional walked the horse around the corral, or whatever they call it.

And yet, in spite of being normally averse to such unseemly things as feel-good Hollywood films attempting to exploit the exploits of some underdog while casting vague aspersions of how this somehow represents the American story, one sunny evening in 2003 T.Mixeur could be heard in front of his television crying out, "Go Seabiscuit Go!!"

With fists clenched and arms pumping, no less.

While reading Jeff Morgenthaler's blog on the Mint Julep, I began to think of the fact that we would be visiting the Bainbridge home of Mom Mixeur on derby day, and Mom Mixeur had developed a taste for the Mint Julep in the previous years while enjoying traditional derby day drinks and bites as the guest of a couple of Kentucky ex-pats living nearby. They had been serving Woodford Reserve Mint Juleps and many traditional derby foods, all of which seemed to be equal parts cream, butter, cheese, and lard.

This year, however, the matriarch of the event had reached a point in her life trajectory wherein hosting such high concept events was not realistic, leaving an opening.

So Mom Mixeur bought the mint, T.Mixeur brought the rest to her, including a recently purchased bottle of Buffalo Trace (since departed). We made the Juleps according to Monsieur Morgenthaler's instructions, and they were divine.

We are not horse racing people. True, there are few sights in the world as pure, inspiring, and true as a horse in full stride. But the purity, inspiration, and truth are somewhat diminished by the accompanying sight of a dwarf on the horse's back, relentlessly whipping the hell out of it.

Yet upon seeing the name of a horse called Eight Belles, I immediately developed a rooting interest. I did not know at the time that the name was taken from a home in Port Clyde Maine owned by Andrew Wyeth, nor did I know that Eight Belles was a girl.

A few moments later, I was informed she was a girl, the only girl in the race, and one of only a few girl horsies to ever run in the derby. Now I was involved.

Most of you know the horrific end. Eight Belles ran the race of her life, bested only by the freak mutant cyborg horse Big Brown, finishing more than 2 lengths ahead of the third place finisher. But just as she was slowing down after the conclusion of the race, both her front ankles snapped at the same time, and she was put to sleep by lethal injection within minutes.

Another Julep anyone?

(T.Mixeur may never recover from this.)

But as part of the healing process, Eight Belles will be honored in the only way we at Le Mixeur know how: by making a drink named after her (Bien sûr!).

We regret to inform the reader that there is an entirely other long-winded build up to this simple drink, which we will go into in great detail right now!

An integral yet often overlooked aspect of Le Mixeur is the desire to make drinking healthier. It was this desire that compelled us to make and Mix schisandra infused vodka and schisandra liqueur for our Mixers. It was this desire that caused us to disseminate the medicinal values of the herbs in Benedictine and other liqueurs. It is this desire that leads us to use organic ingredients whenever possible.

Being Seattlites, we are children of the Zig Zag, and we see this desire as merely an extension of the golden rule of hospitality espoused by Ben, Kacy, and Murray. As a token of our hospitality, allow us to make you a fine cocktail that, in all likelihood, will not cause your death.

If there is one thing we have learned from preparing drinks for Mixers at our Mixeurs, about 80% of whom are female (95% of whom are Naturopathic Physician candidates), it is that women do not like the refined sugar.

And their dislike comes only in response to the fact that refined sugar detests them with a fury yet unmatched. Aside from reported issues with hormonal imbalance, accompanying mood swings, upset stomach, and anxiety, it is a well established fact that refined sugar will often fill a woman's system with yeast faster than Eight Belles rounded the track at Churchill Downs.

Fellas, you really haven't lived until your intestinal tract, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus have been overwhelmed with yeast. Don't try to tell me you have. You haven't!

When we began these Mixeurs, we sat down and made a list of things we did and did not want to accomplish (known as La Constitution de Le Mixeur). It took a while, but eventually the list of things we did NOT want came to include this, and I quote:

"We do not want to serve our guests drinks that cause their intestinal tract, mouth, throat, vagina, and anus to be overwhelmed with yeast."

If only our nation's forefathers had had the wisdom to be so specific in their own constitution. And perhaps they would have, had they invited a few foremothers to the party.

And so pardon us while we bring this all full circle:

The Eight Belles

12 mint leaves
12 stevia leaves
splash of water
1/4 oz agave nectar
2 oz bourbon
crushed ice

muddle the mint, water, and agave together
add the stevia leaves and bourbon
add ice, stir, add ice, stir...
garnish with a mint sprig.

Yes, that's right, it's a gal-friendly Mint Julep.

And with this drink comes a toast of remembrance:

two ounces of Bourbon...
one for each length she bested Denis of Cork,
one for each ankle that gave way

the greenery of Stevia leaves...
a consolatory laurel in lieu of the one Big Brown wore
as she was carted away

Eight Belles,
it was the least we could do to remember you
this sorrowful Derby day.

The agave will get it sweet enough. The Stevia leaves (you will need to buy a Stevia plant, they sell at most garden shops and centers for about $3), add quantity and variety to your drink's greenery. Also, when the impulse strikes you, you can pluck a leaf from the drink and eat it up for a little burst of extra sweetness. And a little Stevia leaf sandwich on mint leaves is a tasty combination.

And lest anyone misunderstand what refined sugar is, the list includes white sugar, brown sugar, honey, maple syrup, corn syrup, maple sugar, molasses, date sugar, turbinado, raw sugar, demerrara, amasake, rice syrup, and sorghum.

And at long last this post comes to an end. In one last nod to Eight Belles, we leave you with a stunning painting by Andrew Wyeth, in which a happy, yeast-free young woman anxiously awaits the return home from over the horizon of her filly...

Monday, May 5, 2008

We Digress Once Again

We at Le Mixeur issue une promesse to not make a habit of deviating from the topic of cocktails and spirits and all things Mixeur, yet in the same vein of the previous posts' digression, we would like to draw the readers' attention to an article in today's Seattle Post Intelligencer about T.Mixeur's child and co-parents.

Merci pour nous satisfaire.

Plus de cocktail gaeity pour venir bientôt!


Sunday, May 4, 2008

Finishing School for Mixeurs

First, a note of something non-spirits related but near and dear to T.Mixeur's heart. I have created a blog detailing the experience of raising an amazing and absolutely unique child, who happens to be my one and only son, and who also happens to have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and inasmuch requires me to tilt at windmills operated by the public school system, the government, and the corporate insurance company power blockade. If you have children or have ever thought that you kind of like children, you may wish to peruse the goings on at STILL LIFE WITH SHARK

And now, on with the drinking...

Le Mixeur has been besieged, yes besieged, with notes from devoted Mixers concerned with whether or not we intend to follow through with our promise, yes promise, to make Le Mixeur Quatre the greatest Mixeur the world has ever known.

Aside from the steps outlined in excruciating detail previously in this space, T.Mixeur has been studying at the foot of a true guru of congeniality, a bodhisattva of hospitality, a genius of cordiality, the one they call simply, Hostmaster John.

Hostmaster John

Principally renowned for his contribution to the field of Hosting, John lends his name to the concepts of Johnastic Hosting and the Johnastic Method. The latter remains a commonly used tool in a wide range of discussions, and is a type of pedagogy in which a series of guests are asked not only to have the most wonderful time of their lives, but to encourage fundamental insight into how others can also experience such levels of Johnastia. John also made important and lasting contributions to the fields of Hostology and Hostronomy, and the influence of his ideas and approach remains strong in providing a foundation for the many Mixeurs which followed.

Hostmaster John Hosted T.Mixeur into his realm of welcomeness recently, to pass along the ancient secrets of how to make guests, or Mixers, feel like blessed little children of the sun. The highlights of this evening follow...

As is the standard procedure with Hostmaster John, the guest is immediately fitted with a fashionable hair piece that accentuates the regality of the skull region, extending the crown of the head, and imbuing the guest with not only a strong sense of importance, but also with the confidence inherent in knowing, for a fact, that I look damn fine.

This is one of many aspects of the Johnastic method that places the guest in an open, receptive state of mind, ready to accept the totality of Hostmaster John's generosity.

At this stage of the Johnastic Method, Hostmaster John himself enters the space being occupied by his guest, and with unprecedented style and aplomb, offers the starstruck visitor a tasty confection that Hostmaster John has coyly named, "a cracker."

Note the delight exuded in both the facial expressions and body language of T.Mixeur as he graciously accepts this precious offering. Note further that Hostmaster John, having intuitively grasped T.Mixeur's wheat intolerance, has offered a rice flour cracker...Très impressionnant!

Here, the camera has in fact captured the very essence of what makes Hostmaster John a legend of Hostology. Look carefully and appreciate the genuine joy in his face at having successfully made his guest feel welcome.

If looking with enough care and mindfulness, one can clearly see his aura radiating with completeness. Looking at T.Mixeur, it is clear that Hostmaster John's grace has spread to him as well. We at Le Mixeur feel blessed to have this moment in time preserved through the magic of photographs.

At this point, Hostmaster John made a swift and final exit from the room. However, from this image, one can clearly see that the spirit and charisma of our Host lingered in the heart and mind of T.Mixeur.

It was, in fact, just at this moment that T.Mixeur realized this cracker was itself the Host, and would be the sweetest and most meaningful Eucharist he had ever imbibed.

And what were the specific techniques of Hosting T.Mixeur learned? We cannot say. We can only demonstrate. So please, join us on May 17 for Le Mixeur Quatre, a most holy of communions.

Le fils le père et l'esprit saint,